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We first met in May 2017. It was love at first sight for her…

We first met in May 2017. It was love at first sight for her while she wasnt my type. Her perseverance won me over and we got together. This is her first girl-girl relationship. As time passed, I grew to love and care for her more than anyone else (except my dog). We have been together for about 1.5years and we are facing obstacles. She cares a lot about how people sees her and our relationship would always be in the background, away from her friends and family. She loves her family a lot and they are already asking when is her turn to get married and she has thoughts about being the ‘good daughter’ to make her mum happy if that means settling with a guy and having children. My family is aware of our relationship, I do not have qualms about showing her to my friends and family. She has been lying about who she hangs out with so her family does not suspect and she hates herself for that. She said she wished she hadnt fell head over heels with me initially and wished we could be good sisters instead. Sighs, anyone has similar experience and how it ended eventually?

Ps. We are both femmes.

What do you think?

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  1. Everyone’s family background is different, everyone’s family wants the best for them. And many think that heterosexual relationships are the only way to go. So here is my two cents, please don’t be upset at her for not showing you to her family and friends, she just feels like it’s not her place to change their opinions or change how they will feel about her being homosexual. Everyone wants their families to accept them for who they are, and she isn’t any different. So please don’t compare about how open you are to your family and how she is with hers. You have been blessed with friends and family who are really embracing towards you. So please just show her your support in her decision, while she hates herself for having to lie to her family, it doesn’t change her love for you, or your love for her. I hope that one day society will change (it will), but meanwhile, just hang on to your love, reassure her, and just be happy. ? and when she is ready, she can then talk to her family, you never know how positively families will react.
    I have a Friend who was kicked out of his house when he came out, after some years, the family accepted him and his fiancé. People change, and love will win. ?

  2. Dump the girl and stick with Doggo. Your dog’s unconditional love and loyalty will outlast hers.

    I am not saying this to be flippant.

    She chose to pursue you so I assume she intended to have a serious relationship with you. Now she openly regrets ever falling for you and expects you to understand her love and loyalty to her family. But how about her love and loyalty to you?

    It’s one thing to fear coming out to family. Quite another to be so emotionally irresponsible to a partner.

    She could have offered to work things out with her family or ask for more time etc. If she hasn’t done any of that, then you will have a very difficult time maintaining this clandestine relationship.

  3. You need to help her build confidence in who she is. Help her to express herself without fear of judgement. What she is going through is something the entire LGBTQI has got to face. As a transwomem I have much more to face. Lost everything but won my family and friends back when I pulled myself together and work towards being myself. As confidence increases the fear decreases. All the best.

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